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My brother has always had a difficult time with taking baths and showers because he hated having water get on his face or in his eyes. Don’t get me wrong he loved being in the water, but as soon as he would be splashed in the face in the pool or we would have to go to wash his hair in the bath, a flood of anxiety and fear would come over him. He has had this difficulty ever since he was little and he is still learning to decrease his anxiety with water on his face. It wasn’t until this year that he has now been able to wash his face and hair more independently (14 years later). We wanted to share the tips and tricks that we have used to help my brother decrease his anxiety with water getting on his face to allow him to be more independent with these skills.
Tips to Decrease Anxiety with Water Getting on the Face for a Child with Sensory Processing Difficulties
What we did first was recognize this was a fear for my brother and we were always patient and understanding with him. Something that my mother has been working on this past year with my brother is working on identifying what his fears are and understanding that fear is an emotion. These emotions can come from what you are thinking, and they have been working on changing his thinking to a positive thought to help him create a solution. So for example, before taking a shower or washing his face at the sink they would state positive statements about putting water on his face. They would say, “I will be able to get my face wet or I am calm and I can do this.”
These were ways that we were slowly able to decrease fear for my brother with getting water on his face.
He was very motivated to go swimming, so during the summer we were constantly at the pool, going to water parks, or playing outside in the sprinkler. He was usually having so much fun during these activities that when he would get water on his face we would always make sure we had a beach towel near by or he would wear a swim shirt that he could use to help wipe off the water on his face to help decrease his anxiety. We were constantly exposing him to activities that were motivating to him where he would be exposed to water on his body.
Other fun ways we would expose him to water were through water balloon fights and using a bubble machine outside with bubbles popping around him. Again, we would always have a towel near by him, but during the activities he was happy and excited having fun!
When we were swimming in the pool, we would constantly be trying to teach him how to hold his breath or blow out of his nose when he would go under water. As well as closing his eyes under water. We would play games to help motivate him to make it more fun. We would always demonstrate for him so he could see how to do it. We would try to make it motivating and be super excited over the top if just the littlest bit of his face touch the water such as his chin. We would give tons and tons of praise and encouragement.
It took us many many years for him to be more comfortable with getting his face wet in the pool, but we never gave up. Even today he still does not prefer to go underwater and we are still working on learning how to swim, but every year we are making progress. We learn to celebrate every little victory along the way.
Now this year, we have been working really hard with being independent with showering and washing our face. Now that we are going through puberty we also get to work on these skills to help us prevent breakouts. We started a new acne medicine for our face this year, so that has also helped increase the motivation for my brother to want to learn the skill so he can decrease the acne. My mother has learned to be so patient with him in helping him learn these skills.
These are ways that we have helped him learn to wash his face on his own:
- He used a face mist blower (something he liked) to help him get used to the feeling of water on his face.
- He would wash his face at the sink with just a wet wash cloth (my mother would have to do it first, then she would have him slowly increase his ability to use the wash cloth himself)
- They slowly increased splashing water on his face by getting his hands wet and having him touch his face then slowly add more water over time.
- Finally, they had him get in the shower and use a wash cloth in the shower to wash his face.
- NOTE: He would always have a dry wash cloth or towel right next to him so that he could dry his face off if it was too much for him.
- This was a very long process and took a lot of patience and practice. We think it went better for him this year because he was motivated to get rid of the acne on his face.
These are ways that we helped him learn to shower more independently:
- In the beginning my mom would be in the bathroom and available for him if he needed anything, this helped to decrease the anxiety.
- We first talked about the importance of why we need to take a shower and how we need to smell good when we are around other people. This was the first year that he has ever mentioned that he wants to get married (over the past two years my sister and I both got married and he realized that he would need to get married if he wants to carry our families last name). So my mom would make sure to talk about how if he wants to get a girl friend he needs to smell nice and this has been motivating to him.
- When they were at the dermatologist, my mother had the doctor explain the importance of showering and washing our face to him, which had a bigger impact on him then my mom telling him that. He seems to do well with taking advice from doctors.
- While my brother was taking the shower there was always a towel available hanging over the edge of the shower.
- To wash his hair, my mom would use a large cup and place a was cloth over his face and he would tilt his head back and let my mom wash his hair for him. They would slowly transition away from this by having him participate more with washing his hair and having him do more of it on his own, such as having him put the shampoo in or slowly pour some water on his head.
- Washing his hair is something he has always had a really hard time with and he still needs help at times from my mom to help him, but he is doing so much more of it on his own! He will be doing it on his own in no time!
- Also they learned that he does better with taking a shower night before going to bed as the warm water helps him go to sleep. Try to figure out the best time of day that works for your child.
Here are some other strategies that we have used over the years to help decrease anxiety as well:
- Installing a “rain” shower head
- Installing a handheld shower nozzle to give him a sense of control
- Sometimes we would just take a bath
- Warm up the bathroom ahead of time to make the temperature change less dramatic
- Play music while in the shower or bath for fun and a distraction
- Have fun bath toys in the shower or bath tub
- Mr. Bubbles foam soap for fun in the bath
- Using a schedule and sticking to it. When we figured out a night time routine worked well we have been sticking with it.
- We would sometimes use baby wipes to help clean off at times
- We have heard dry shampoo can be helpful
- When we used a wash cloth or shampooing his hair we tried to use slow deep pressure. Slow deep pressure is more organizing than light touch.
- Finding soap products that they like (some kids prefer scents and some prefer no scents) Allow them to participate in picking out the soaps to give them more independence.
- Use motivators whenever possible. We were constantly trying to figure out what motivated my brother to help make it more fun and turn it into a goal that he wanted to meet!
We hope that these tips and suggestions can be helpful for you and your family to help make bathing a better routine for everyone. As a family we are always working on this skill and taking it day by day and celebrating every little victory. We would love to learn if you have more suggestions that have worked for your family!
Does your child or teen struggle with personal hygiene skills due to sensory challenges? Check out our free Personal Hygiene Sensory Strategies Toolkit for help!
Does your child have difficulty learning personal hygiene self care skills? Check out our Ebook Everyday Life Skills Personal Hygiene Skills in the Bathroom for TONS of tips and resources to help your loved one become more independent with these skills!
Please let these suggestions remind you that you are not alone and together we can grow and learn from each other.
Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia!
I am amazed and touched by such a caring sister!
Love that last bit – so true.
Your family has really rallied together to support and include your brother – wonderful!
Good ideas, too.
Now if only someone could convince my 15-year-old son that showering MATTERS!!!!
Thanks and love,
Full Spectrum Mama
Thank you so much for the response! We still have days where showering does not matter at all. One avenue that we are taking is that he has said one day he would like to get married so he can carry out our families last name. So we are trying to go the route that in order to get a girlfriend we have to smell nice. It has been helping a little so far…
I will have to try a couple of your tips, my son has such a struggle when it comes to bath/shower time.
Thank you for the comment! Please let me know if any of these tips help your son!
When my son was really little (under 4) he HATED baths. Once on a warm day we got him to sit and play in a sizable Sterilite container in the backyard and slowly filled it with warm water. We translated it later to the house – putting the container on the floor of the bathroom and filling it up. He was really barely sitting in the water – he was so big for the container, but it helped.
And of course any distractions and bath toys, particularly ones he didn’t have at other times during the day, were great. I remember he loved playing with a tray of shaving cream that he could run little cars through like a car wash. Really simple and clean play.
Kathy, Thank you for sharing your story of what worked well for your son. These are wonderful tips and suggestions! Thank you so much! I am so glad you found strategies that worked well for him!!
Thank you. My daughter is 12 and a half and showering had been one of the worst experiences over the years. Just over the past year she has opened up to getting water on her face and last summer she submerged her face to swim after about 8 summers of lessons. I still help her wash he hair and it is comforting to know I am not the only person who goes through this. My mom will say “ok go run a take your shower!” And she looks at me and I follow her up. I feel better knowing it’s not just us! Glad we both see progress!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! Yes you are not alone and we have been making a lot of progress in this area still!