by Sara | Jan 21, 2018 | Autism, Life skills, Support
*This post may contain affiliate links.
You may ask yourself, when did my child become a teenager? Kids grow up so fast, right before our eyes, and time keeps rushing right by us. In our family, my brother is now 15 years old! How did this happen? As a sister and a professional OT, I worry for him and what his future might look like.
We are thinking about his future and what his future might look like. This can be a little more challenging for families with teenagers with autism as it can be a little bit harder to see exactly what path we might go down. We ask ourselves these questions all the time and it is a little scary not always knowing the answers.
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Will he be able to live on his own?
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Will he go to college?
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Will he have friends?
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What type of job would he be good at?
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Will he learn to drive a car?
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Will he always need me there to support him everyday?
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Will he know when he is in danger?
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Will he be able to take care of himself?
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Will he be safe in new social situations?
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Will someone take advantage of him?
The list can go on and on…
So what do you do when you worry about these questions and how you can help your teen? You look for support and help! Our family has realized when we go looking for answers to some of these questions and how we can help teach these skills to my brother, we realize there are not a lot of answers out there.
Finding Support
That is why we created this blog and our Facebook Group Support for Teens with Autism. We are going through the journey with you and providing you with resources that we have either made up ourselves or found along the way.
We are here for you and you are not alone! Together we can help create the best life for our teenager! We can be a little less stressed along the way. Please let me know what are some of the struggles you are facing in your family? Is there something that we can do to help you?
by Sara | Jul 21, 2017 | Autism, Special Needs
Tips on How Having a Sibling with Autism has Changed my Life for the Better
*This post may contain affiliate links. There is no extra cost to you, but will greatly help our family. Please see our disclosure policy.
We all go through events in our lives that lead us to make decisions and take us down different paths that affect our life. Well, today I want to share how growing up with my brother has changed my life for the better and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Autism can be scary…but it doesn't have to be
I think many people hear the word Autism and they think socially awkward, aggressive, weird, etc…We don't have to think that way if we get to know the person for who they are and not what society tells us to believe.
My Story
My brother was born when I was 13 years old and I loved growing up with a baby brother. It was so much fun to see him grow up and have opportunities to play with him. I remember going out into public places with him and getting weird looks from strangers like he was my child, but that didn't stop me from going places with him. He was my little brother and I loved him so much.
I remember going off to college and that was the year when he was starting kindergarten and the year he was diagnosed with Autism. My mom would tell me how hard that first year of school was for the both of them with her being the special education teacher not being able to help her own son and how much anxiety he was having at school. After that year was when my mom decided she needed to do what she felt was best and homeschool my brother.
Growing up along side my brother has taught me many valuable life lessons and has lead me down different paths in my life that I probably wouldn't be down today if not for him. He was my inspiration for choosing my career path of occupational therapy and for starting this blog! He has taught me more about compassion and nurture along with my mom more than anyone else ever has. He helps me be a better person by helping me think outside of the box to learn to help other individuals as well. He has helped teach me so many life lessons along the way and I want to share them all with you!
My Number One Tip: Love your Brother or Sister for Who They Are
I feel like society tells us so many times that if we aren't “normal” we don't fit it and we need to “change”. I am telling you that is wrong to believe and that we need to learn to love and accept our loved ones for who they are as individuals and not what society tells us to believe. Think about people that have stood out in our society…were they people that fit in? Or were they people that stood out and had unique and amazing talents? The people that stand out to me are the ones who go against the crowd to stand out and be different. Don't let the world tell you how you or your sibling needs to be, make the world a better place and help them learn to make the world work for them.
Learn to embrace their differences and their strengths. Help them identify their strengths in their lives and see themselves through a positive lens. I feel like so many times Autism is seen as bad…and this can have a huge impact on someone's self esteem. Make sure you are always talking about Autism in a positive light and talking positive with your sibling and family as well. This can have a HUGE impact.
Don't Try to Change Them
This statement goes along with the one above, but I wanted to make sure I hit this hard…Every person is unique and has strengths and weaknesses. We all have skills that we are good at and others that we could use more practice with. Your Sibling is going to be the same way, if they have something that is more difficult for them help them with that skill, but don't change who they are because they can't do something as well. For example, if going out to public places is hard for your brother or sister, find a way to make that easier for your sibling by going somewhere that you know they really enjoy. My brother does not like going out to eat at restaurants, but he was super motivated to go to Dave and Buster's. We were able to go to that restaurant because it was something he wanted to do and was motivated to do it.
A strength of my brother is that he is very smart with science and technology. He is very good with computers and that is why I have been learning the blogging world for him to be able to teach this skill to him when he gets older as a way for him to make an income. As his sister I feel that I need to use my strengths of (patience and learning) to help my brother out when he transitions into adulthood to help make life a little easier for him.
Treat them as an Equal
This may seem like common sense to some, but always make sure you treat your sibling like you treat your other siblings as well. It is okay to joke around with them, play with them, or even get upset with them. These are normal emotions to have with all family members.
Involve Them in Activities with You
Don't leave someone out just because you think they won't like the activity or it might be too hard for them. Always ask them if they would like to join you in something, you never know what they may say.
I also want to say too, don't force your brother or sister to do something with you if they really don't like it or don't want to do it. Growing up, I knew my brother really did not like movie theaters or going to restaurants. I always asked him if he wanted to go with me, but I would never force him to do something if it upset him.
Teach them Skills
Being the older sister, I kind of also took on that motherly role as well with me brother. I wanted to protect him from harm. If we went to the playground when he was little and had a hard time playing with the other kids I would look out for him. I would be the one playing on the jungle gym with him and going down the slides. I wouldn't let the other kids bother him or bother me either.
Growing up with my brother when I was younger I loved being able to teach him new play skills or go swimming with him and try to help him learn how to swim. Now that we are both older my mom and I are both trying to learn to teach him life skills to help him be more independent as he transitions into adulthood. I know I look to my brother for teaching me new skills on the computer and through different video games he is playing and he looks up to me to help teach him different skills as well. Be there for each other and be a positive role model for each other. Take the time to help one another and teach them something you are learning.
Most of All Be a Big or Little Sibling to Them
Love each of your family members for the unique person that they are. Learn to love their quirks and be there for them. Protect and guide them in this journey through life. If they ask for your help, be there for them. You don't have to make the big gestures, just do the little day by day things together that make such a big difference. If you are an older sibling like me, take time to call or visit your younger brother or sister because seeing you can bring your little sibling so much joy.
Growing up alongside my brother has changed me for the better because it has taught me to be the person I am today. I have learned to love each person for their unique abilities and strengths and to not let the world define who you need to be. My life choices have been chosen because of my brother and mother and I have them to thank for the person I have become. I hope that if you have a sibling with Autism, they can have such a positive experience on you as my brother has had on me in my life.
If you have a sibling with Autism, whether they are younger or older, what are some tips they have taught you in your life? I would love to learn from other siblings as well! Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
Are you feeling overwhelmed by information about Autism and don't know where to turn? Check out our 180+ FREE Autism Resource Guide for information about Autism websites, blogs, Facebook support groups, books, self-care, transition to adulthood information and MORE! Get your FREE resource below by giving us your name and email address!
Does your child have difficulty learning personal hygiene self care skills? Check out our Ebook Everyday Life Skills Personal Hygiene Skills in the Bathroom for TONS of tips and resources to help your loved one become more independent with these skills!
Are you looking for other amazing tips and advice from Special Needs Parents? Check out the other posts below for GREAT tips and advice to help you feel less overwhelmed.
The Best Montessori Tips for Families with Special Needs | Every Star is Different
Advice for Monitoring & Managing Anxiety in Autistic Children & Teens | My Home Truths
Advice for Parents of Children with Special Needs | The Chaos and The Clutter
What Autistics Wish You Knew About Your Child | This Outnumbered Mama
Ways to Help a Special Needs Child Learn | Life Over C’s
The One Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me After My Daughter’s Diagnosis | Kori at Home
2 Things Every Hyperlexia Parent Should Know | And Next Comes L
The Best Self Care for Single Moms of Special Needs Children| Finding the Golden Gleam
by Sara | Jun 16, 2017 | Autism, Blogging, Special Needs, Support
180+Amazing Autism and Special Needs Resources!
Are you Feeling Overwhelmed?
Do you feel overwhelmed and tired, and just struggling to feel like you are making an impact with your child or adult with autism or special needs?
Today we wanted to share an amazing FREE resource we have created to help you feel a little less overwhelmed and more like you can take action on how you can find resources to help your family.
We get it, it can be hard to go through the every day tasks, especially when you are transitioning onto a new stage in life where you have to consistently learn new ideas and techniques to help your child succeed in life. We wanted to create the ultimate bundle of resources for you and your family to feel more confident in your stage of life and decrease that feeling of overwhelm.
This FREE Resource has over 180+ ideas from Autism websites, books, support groups, blogs by families and professionals, transitions into adulthood resources, podcasts, self-care tips, organization, ebooks, planners, calendars, & MORE!!
What resources will you get from this download?
- Autism Sites
- Autism Books
- Sensory Processing Books
- Children with Disabilities Books
- Transition into Adulthood Resources
- Self-Care and Parenting Resources
- Facebook Support Groups
- Pinterest Group Boards with loads of Special needs content
- Autism and Special Needs Blogs
- Occupational Therapy Blogs
- Speech Therapy Blogs
- Helpful EBooks
- Calendars
- Planners
- Podcasts
- Help Around the Home Resources
- Online Resources
- Blogging Resources to start your own blog
We also share our blogging tips and resources if you are someone that is looking for help with blogging as a way to make extra income for your family or for a way for your adult child to create an at home online business!
We hope you find this FREE resource helpful as you are going through each stage of life whether you just got the diagnosis or you are looking for ways to continue to advocate for your child or adult. We are here to HELP!
Please leave a comment about what you think about the resources or if you know of any more to add! We would love to hear your feedback!
Does your child have difficulty learning personal hygiene self care skills? Check out our Ebook Everyday Life Skills Personal Hygiene Skills in the Bathroom for TONS of tips and resources to help your loved one become more independent with these skills!
by Sara | May 13, 2017 | Positivity, Special Needs, Support
*This post contains affiliate links. There is no extra cost to you, but will greatly help our family. If you would like read more here is our disclosure statement.
25 Ways to Show Support For a Family with a Child with Special Needs
This post was originally written about Mother's day, but the more I thought about it the more I realized these are actions that we should do all year round for mothers, parents, and fathers of children with special needs. These can seem like such simple acts of kindness, but they can go a long way for a family.
Mother's day can be a wonderful day where mother's feel appreciated and loved for many, but sometimes it can also bring up pain and sadness depending on what memories this day brings to you. Maybe you recently lost a mother or you are a mother who lost a child. This time a year can bring back sadness and hurt.
Maybe you are a single mother or father taking care of a child that has complex medical needs or a child that needs a lot of attention and care. Or maybe you are a family trying to find ways to help your mother have a day where she can feel appreciated and loved for everything that she does for you. Whatever avenue you are on this Mother's day, I hope that these tips can help all Mother's especially those with a child with special needs feel loved and appreciated for all of their hard work. If you are a husband, loved one, or friend to a mother with a child with special needs, we hope these ideas can spark some inspiration to help make Mother's day and every day a success!
This post is the first of many in the self-care series where we will provide you with resources and advice on how to help take care of ourselves as a parent. We need to learn to also take care of ourselves as a parent to be able to provide the best care for our children.
Help Provide Them with a Break
My mother is always wanting to do everything for her children. She is constantly putting her children and her husband first in her life and doesn't always take time for herself. Helping your mother be able to take a break from the busy schedules can help reenergize herself so that she can be the best version of herself to help her family.
Ask Them How you Can Help
This is a BIG one…and as a mother you need to be able to learn to accept help as well. Ask her what she may need done around the house, or how you can help out to make this next week a little easier for her. Is there something you could help by taking care of her children or going with her to be able to go out in the community and participate in a fun activity with the entire family? There are endless possibilities of ways she may need help, but make sure you are there for her and ask her what she needs help with.
Find out an Activity They Really Enjoy and Do That with Them
Don't be afraid to just ask her is there something you would really like to go and do? Find out from other family members what are some of her favorite activities to do and provide time for her to complete that activity with her. Now keep in mind you may have to also figure out child care for this mother if you are wanting it to be just the two of you. This may take some extra planning depending on her situation, so make sure you take that into consideration.
Listen to Their Needs (don't judge or provide feedback unless they ask)
Maybe just taking the time to listen to her and allowing her to share her feelings and opinions without feeling judged is what a mother might need. Bring her a cup of coffee or tea and allow her the opportunity to just sit and chat in a judgement free zone. You never know how much of an impact this simple act can make for someone that may feel like they are alone.
Let Them Know You are Here for Them
Let your mother know that you are here for them as a loved one or a friend and know that you are available to talk or go do an activity with them. Let them know that they can call you if they are needing help or just need some advice. It is always good to know which friends or loved ones you can always count on to help you out when you need it.
Make a Meal for Them and Their Family to Share Together
For some mothers, cooking a meal can be very tough and frustrating. It can take a long time to create a healthy meal for a family to share together. You have to find the time to go grocery shopping, prep the ingredients, and then cook the meal. That can be very time invasive, so just the kind act of making an entire meal for this mother to be able to share with her loved ones can be a huge act of kindness.
Help with the Yard Work
Yard work is another chore that can be daunting and take a lot of time, which a lot of mother's don't have enough time. Helping out with mowing the lawn, trimming bushes, or watering the flowers can be a huge help for some mother's and families.
Ask to Help Clean the House
The act of asking to help do the laundry or clean up the kitchens or bathrooms can also be a huge help around the house. This can help the mother's have more time to spend with their loved ones doing something they enjoy together. I know if this was me, I would love to have someone help clean up my house.
Help Run an Errand
Depending on their situation, just finding the time to be able to leave the house for a simple errand, can be a hard task for some mothers. Asking to help go get groceries or drop off some packages can be a huge help for some!
Provide them with a Gas Card to help with Transportation to Appointments
Gas can be expensive, especially if you are a family where you are constantly driving to appointments for your child. A gas card could go a long way for some mother's to be able to have sufficient funds to know she can get her children to their appointments on time.
Let them take a Nap or Sleep in
Sleep is one of those things that can be neglected when you are a mother to a child with lots of needs or just a very busy lifestyle. Help a mother out by offering to take care of the child for a while to allow her to sleep in or take a nap. Sleep is a necessity and can help a mother be the best version of herself with enough sleep and energy.
Provide Her with Opportunities to Listen to Books through an Audible Subscription
This one is a personal preference, as I love to listen to books on my audible app through Amazon. I am someone that doesn't take the time to sit and read, so I love being able to listen to books on tape and I am able to multi task at the same time with either doing dishes or folding laundry. I also love listening to books in the car! This has opened up so many more opportunities for me to be able to catch up on reading that I otherwise would not do.
Ask if they Would Like to Do Something as Family Where Everyone Can Join in and Participate
Is there an activity that the whole family would like to be able to do together? Help them find a way to complete that activity where everyone in the family will be able to help participate with to help create fun memories for the mother and family to be able to cherish for a lifetime.
Provide Uplifting and Encouraging Books to Read or Listen to Help them Relax
Our family loves finding books where the message is uplifting and encouraging. Maybe there are other mom's out there that also like to read encouraging books as well. Find out what your mom likes to read and provide opportunities for her to do that. My mom has loved watching and reading inspirational books by Joel Osteen.
Here are a list of possible encouraging and uplifting books
This Life I Live: One Man's Extraordinary, Ordinary Life and the Woman Who Changed It Forever by Rory Feek
Start with Amen: How I Learned to Surrender by Keeping the End in Mind by Beth Guckenberger
The Magnolia Story by Chip Gaines, Joanna Gaines, Mark Dagostino
Get Them a Special Gift to Show your Appreciation and Love
A bouquet of flowers
Gourmet Chocolates
Locket Necklace
Succulent Plants
Indoor Herb Garden
Mom Coffee Mug
The special gifts could go on and on forever. Every person likes a special gift that comes from the heart. These are just some ideas to get you started in the gift giving process.
This post goes out to all mothers who work hard to provide for their families and work to take care of their children to the best of their abilities. I hope you can find some inspiration from the ideas listed above to show your love and support to all the mother's in your life. This list is not just about mother's but both parents or fathers who are just trying their best to raise happy healthy children. Is there something you would like me to add to this list of ideas? We would love to hear from you!
by Sara | Apr 21, 2017 | Special Needs, Support
Life Can Feel Lonely Sometimes…
There are times in our lives when we feel like we are alone or nobody else has to go through this, why do I? Sometimes we can go through life feeling sad, mad, happy, excited, stressed, or (fill in any emotion). I feel like when we have a child with special needs our highs can be really high and our lows can be really low. Living in rural Iowa it can be difficult to find families who are in similar situations as us who we can talk to and relate experiences with. Not only just for special needs situations, but since my mother has started to homeschool, that has been hard for her to find other families around us who are also home schooling. Just this last year is when we have discovered support through online groups whether it be through Facebook groups or following blogs.
Facebook Groups
Our family has found these various Facebook groups about general special needs, groups about Autism, groups about sensory needs, groups about homeschooling, and then miscellaneous groups. We were even able to find a local group around our rural town and a special needs group in Iowa! It has been wonderful to be able to reach out to other families going through similar situations as us who we can relate to and ask questions of!
Blogs
Since starting this blogging journey for my brother I have constantly searching for other bloggers, especially people who blog about their journey with special needs. It gives us the sense that we are not alone. By having all of these groups and experiences we are able to grow more as a family and be able to think outside of the box to figure out ways to help my brother as best as we can. We just want to feel accepted and want to do what is best for our family.
If you are someone that is struggling or feeling alone in this world we invite you to download these tables to be able to join an online group or follow a blog that hopefully you can relate to in the hopes of bringing you hope and happiness. Whether you are a fly on the wall or you want to reach out to others and form friendships these groups can be an amazing resource for you! Here is a preview of what you will get when you click the link down below!
Life doesn't have to be lonely…we can make the choice to reach out to others whether it be for help or just to listen. Our family is here to listen as well. If you would like to join our Facebook group, where you can be apart of an uplifting and positive group of people for support and encouragement for whatever stage of life you are, download the FREE resources below! This blog is meant to uplift and inspire and bring people together. We hope to continue to provide you with valuable resources!
Is there a group or blog you would like us to add?
We know there are so many more online support groups and blogs out there, we cannot find them all ourselves. If you would like to add a group to our compiled list please fill out this FORM HERE and we will gladly continue to update our groups to be able to reach as many people and populations as possible!
Let us know in the comments below if you like the groups!
Take care,
Sara
