Tips on How to Help your Child with Shoe Tying

Gentle, practical strategies for neurodivergent kids, beginners, and anyone who needs a little extra support in learning shoe-tying skills.

Learning to tie shoes is one of those milestones that feels so small on the surface… yet for many kids, it’s a big and overwhelming task. If your child avoids tying their shoes, gets frustrated, or melts down when laces come undone, you’re not alone. Many neurodivergent kids — including those with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, DCD/dyspraxia, or fine-motor challenges — need a little more time, patience, and hands-on support.

And you’re a good parent for wanting to help them.

Below you’ll find simple, compassionate tips that make shoe-tying easier, more playful, and a whole lot less stressful for everyone.

1. Make sure their hands are ready

Before we even get to laces, kids need warm, regulated hands. Try a quick 1–2 minute “warm-up”:

Squeeze a stress ball or playdough
Do wall push-ups
Shake out the hands like “jelly hands”
Pull apart Velcro fasteners
Push palms together with gentle pressure

These little exercises wake up the small muscles in the hands and can make tying easier (and less frustrating).

2. Start with bigger, easier materials

Standard shoelaces are thin and floppy — not great for beginners.

Consider starting with:

Chunky practice laces
Two-color laces (helps kids see left vs. right movements)
A cardboard shoe template (flat surface = easier learning)
A real shoe placed between their knees to keep it steady

Bigger, stiffer laces give kids more control and instant confidence.

3. Choose one method and stick with it

There are lots of ways to tie a shoe, but switching between methods can confuse kids. Pick one and stay consistent. The two easiest methods are:

✦ Bunny Ears (Loop-Loop)

Ideal for kids who like clear, simple steps.

✦ The “Shoe Tie Ladder” (Loop + Wrap)

Often easier for older kids or those with better hand control.

Whichever method you choose, go slow, repeat often, and celebrate every tiny win.

4. Break it into tiny steps

Kids learn best when the task feels doable — especially neurodivergent kids who may experience overwhelm or frustration quickly.

Try breaking the skill into small parts such as:

Cross the laces
Pull tight
Make one loop
Wrap the other lace around
Pull through

You can even practice each step separately before putting them together.

5. Use visuals or a simple story

Many kids learn best with visual supports or playful narratives.

Try:

A visual step-by-step card
A simple “shoe-tying story” like:
- “The bunny makes a loop…
- The snake wraps around…
- The bunny jumps through the hole…”

Stories take the pressure off and make learning feel like play.

6. Make it multisensory

This is especially helpful for ADHD, autistic, and sensory-seeking kids.

Add sensory input to help the brain remember:

Use two different textured laces
Practice on a shoe taped to a table so they can focus
Let them tie with pipe cleaners or ribbon first

The more senses engaged, the easier the skill sticks.

7. Help when needed (hand-over-hand or partial support)

It’s okay to scaffold.

Try:

Hand-over-hand support for the tricky steps
Helping just with the pull-through
Holding one lace steady while they move the other

Slowly fade your support as they gain confidence.

8. Keep practice short and pressure-free

Kids learn best when they feel safe and encouraged.

A few gentle reminders:

3–5 minutes of practice is enough
Stop before frustration builds
Celebrate the effort, not just the success
Let practice happen when they’re regulated — not rushed

If tying shoes becomes a power struggle, it’s okay to pause and try again later.

9. And remember… alternatives are valid, too

Velcro shoes, curly laces, or elastic no-tie laces are not “giving up.” They’re adaptive tools that support independence while your child practices at their own pace.

Every child’s timeline is different — and that’s okay.

Final Thought

If your child is struggling with shoe tying, it doesn’t mean they’re behind. It simply means their brain and hands need a little more time and the right kind of support. You’re helping them build confidence, independence, and the belief that they can tackle something new — one tiny step at a time.

You’re doing an amazing job. 💛